I wish I could put into words how much you mean to me and how thankful I am to you for everything you have done for me growing up, and now. I wish I could verbally express all of those feelings, but I do better writing those feelings down because I will cry if I tried to talk through everything I need to say and you wouldn’t be able to understand what I’m saying. So here is my letter to you to tell you how much I love you.
God chose you to be my mother for so many reasons. I can’t be thankful enough to Him for that, because I have been so blessed by having you as my Mom. You have been the best mom to Morgan and I. I remember always having so much fun and you taking us on so many adventures, big and small. Everyday seemed like an adventure with you, even if it was just to go shopping or to an appointment with you because we would always be laughing and sharing funny stories the whole time. When we got older, I felt so lucky to tell people you were my mom when a lot of other people my age didn’t want to be around their parents. I’m pretty sure most of my friends would come over just to hangout with you because I’d find myself hanging out alone and they’d be in your room talking to you. I loved that my friends loved you as much as we did. It made our days even more fun having you with us.
You were the perfect balance of mom and friend. I always remember that and hope I’m the perfect balance for my kids, too. I could talk to you about anything but also knew I had to be respectful and listen to you or you’d wear my butt out. There were so many times I pushed it with you when you would be the “mom” and not my friend, and I would try so hard to make you laugh when you were yelling at me. When you did laugh, it made us all laugh because you wanted to be mad at us but couldn’t. I find myself in that situation a lot with my kids and know that I’m being punished for doing that to you, so I’m sorry for that.
You have taught me how to be a bargain shopper and look for the best deals and sometimes even be “cheap”, but I take pride in that and I’m thankful you raised me yard selling and shopping in consignment and thrift stores all the time. I find myself doing so many things like you would do and laugh because I know I’m starting to turn into you. Like randomly wanting to rearrange all the furniture in the house and doing it without any help just because I’m bored. Or wanting to paint a piece of furniture when I get a wild hair to. I see a lot of you in myself and I hope that means I will be as strong of a woman as you are.
You have been such a good role model to me and Morgan growing up and taught us the importance of being in Church (even though you caught us skipping Sunday school for two months sitting on top of the toilets in the restroom. Sorry I had to throw that in). After that you taught us how important it was to be in church and I’m thankful for that. It has made me the believer I am today. Your faith has made me believe in the hardest of situations, that things will always be okay. Maybe not the way I want them to be okay, but the way they are planned to be and that makes everything easier to handle. You couldn’t have done anything different in your life to make me change how much I love you. We may have butted heads as I’ve gotten older, but I have never stopped loving you any less. I feel like Morgan and I turned out to be pretty good kids and now adults. I know that is a huge accomplishment to be able to say as a Mom after becoming one myself and hope I can say the same about my kids one day.
I hope you know how much of an impact you have made on my life and how much I love you. You have been the best Mom to Morgan and I, and the greatest MiMi to your grandchildren. There’s not a single person you haven’t impacted that you’ve met. Especially now, with your strong faith through all of this. If I have to think of something good that’s come from this whole Cancer thing, it would be that. The lives that may not have gotten to know how good God is if it wasn’t for you. That may not have happened if you didn’t go through this, so maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Even though the end may not be what we want, it may be what He wants and I’m holding on to that.
Whenever the time comes, I am going to miss you so much! I know there won’t be a day that I won’t think about you. The only thing helping me cope with all of this is knowing you WILL be in Heaven, pain free, and in the most beautiful place I could ever imagine and that I will get to see you again.
Thank you for being my Mama!
I love you so much!
P.S. Can you give me a hint about what you might do when you come visit me so I won’t be freaked out if you knock a picture over or something? Lol, just kidding. But really, don’t be doing anything freaky at my house. Go to Morgan’s!