This Mother’s Day is my first without my Mom. Maybe it’s yours too. Maybe it’s the 5th, 10th, or even 40th Mother’s Day you are trying to celebrate while your mom is in Heaven watching. The holidays are always hard since she’s been gone and every one of them hits differently, but this one hits the hardest. It’s the one real day meant to celebrate her and she’s not here to celebrate with.
It’s such a bittersweet day because I am a Mom myself and get to be celebrated. But I also have a Mom who I no longer get the chance to buy a gift for, go eat lunch with, or get our nails done together. As blessed as I am to be able to do these things with my own kids, it also serves as another reminder that she’s no longer here.
The card aisle at the stores seem so intimidating. I’ve caught myself trying to not even look in that direction because it makes me so emotional. The advertising I see on the stores website’s for Mother’s Day Gift Ideas make me remember I’m no longer able to buy her a gift anymore to celebrate this holiday.
This Mother’s Day will look a lot differently than it has in years past. There will be more celebrating with my own children and lots of soaking in the moments knowing one day it could all be gone. I will be reminiscing on all that we have done together over the years to celebrate my mom. I will spend time looking through old pictures with her from my Facebook memories, knowing we won’t have one to post for this year.
This Mother’s Day will be difficult as most of the “first” holidays without her have been, but I also hope to make it a special day to honor her. Even though she’s not here, she can still be celebrated. She can be talked about with old stories about how great of a mom she was to us. She can still get flowers, only now they will be delivered to her grave. We can still talk, but now it will be through prayer.
I hope the years to come will get easier and maybe the card aisle will be less intimidating to walk passed.
Thankfully I’m blessed to have other mom figures in my life to also celebrate Mother’s Day with and to buy gifts for. It may not feel the same but it’s a blessing to have them.
If you’re going into Mother’s Day feeling a big weight over you, know you’re not the only one dreading this holiday. It may be hard but there are ways to make it more enjoyable and your mom would want that for you!
Mamas, soak in the hugs and snuggles with your babies as much as you can. They are only little for so long. Daughters and Sons, make the phone call to your Mama, stop by and bring her flowers, pick the most meaningful card you can find in the card aisle and write everything you love most about her at the bottom instead of just signing your name. Make her feel the most celebrated and loved she’s ever felt because one day, you may not be able to celebrate her on Earth anymore.
Love you Mama! -Katelyn